F#@king Awesome

There is much in the world that tells us to play small, dim our light, don’t rustle feathers but there is also a cry from within to unleash awesomeness

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I don’t know about you, but I didn’t grow up seeking attention. And when attention was focused upon me it felt kind of like that moment when all eyes are on you on your birthday as you are serenaded and trying to blow out your candles — all the while setting intentions and composing the most epic birthday wish. It just feels like a lot going on at the same time.

It’s not as if anyone ever told me to step aside or play small, but somehow, I was never really comfortable taking up too much space, shining too bright, being too much.

No, I’ve never been one to seek the spotlight but rather to be the observer. People fascinate me. Life fascinates me. The natural world fascinates me. Our collective journey on this planet fascinates me. I’m curious about it all.

It’s probably why I love the daily encounters I have with beautiful souls who stroll in and out of our café doors. In this crazy world that’s constantly telling us to move at high speeds — achieving, building, creating, working, producing — I am regularly graced with unexpected connection, amazing people and deep dives. And within this space time stops. We exhale. We listen and we hear.

I’m always amazed at how these conversations just organically unfold. I’m not really sure how and why they happen around me all the time, but they make my heart smile and fill my being. Though not planned, they are like a slice of grace.

Sometimes I lie in bed at night before I close my eyes and I smile. It always astounds me how easily we can connect...or not, like seizing grace or allowing missed opportunities to slip through our fingertips. It’s like catching fireflies on a summer night.

Surprise encounters are magical. Sometimes I recount the depth of this connection and communication with such a sense of wonder and thanks. And as I close my eyes, I know it was a ‘good day’ as a result of it. An imprint was left upon me.

I had a recent encounter with a sassy, fiery and spirited Irish woman that I have to share. It was as if the moment we started, we couldn’t stop — like two long lost friends catching up on decades. Our chat wasn’t fluffy, no...we dug right into the good stuff: love, kids, divorce, and so many truth bombs.

Within twenty minutes or so, we got to my favorite topic: God. You know me [wink] — they don’t call me Lea Longprayer for nothing! My new friend shared how she is trying to be ‘good enough’. WHAAAT?

“Wait! You can’t stop there,” my spirit screamed from within.

Me, the ‘wallflower’ responded by saying, “I want to be F#&king AWESOME!” She stared at me a moment a little stunned. Her response: “Oh no, that’s too much, too crazy, too much pressure to be perfect.”

“Perfect? Who said anything about being perfect?”

And we dove into this notion of ‘awesomeness’ — what it means to be awesome, to access awesome, to desire and manifest awesomeness within us and around us.

To her point, I guess we’d be remiss to not explore this pressure of perfectionism we put upon ourselves. This conversation inspired me to consider redefining it for all of us.

Maybe we just take ‘perfect’ off the table to start. Sure, that seems like a no-win setup from the get go. So, create your own terms. Awesomeness is not about perfection.

What if ‘awesome’ was to complete something, to move through something, to feel something, to learn something, to explore more, to leave behind, to break free, to reach a goal, to allow yourself to change your mind, to feel expansive?

If that’s the case, sign me up!

10 years ago, I was stuck in many places of my life but felt like I was squirming around. I had deep stirrings within propelling me forward. I had a little girl with stardust in her eyes helping me see possibility — reminding me that this wasn’t enough. Back then I don’t think I could’ve seen this glorious chapter and where I’ve landed — with this thriving café, this gorgeous community, my personal transformation. But here I am, and I am so grateful for the entire ride.

Nothing has been perfect, and everything has been perfect on this journey to here. Perfect isn’t always pretty or comfortable, but it takes your hand and leads you to where you are meant to go and who you are capable of becoming. I don’t think that ever stops until you take your final breath.

That doesn’t make me sad, it makes me hungry for more life.

We get to set the pace and create the goals and deadlines. We get to pursue them or abandon them and shift course. I’m not trying to make light of any of it. Sure, I beat myself up sometimes for not getting here sooner and then I remind myself, my life is set to my own clock — and that is perfection.

Awesomeness arrives when we invite it in. I continue to face life challenges, but I see them differently now. I know life is working for me not against me (even when it doesn’t feel that way and I can’t see the rhyme or reason yet).

I’ve taken some recent bold steps to bring aspects of my life to conclusion. That’s awesome. Besides, I’ve got God in my heart, thread through my life and in my morning ritual...and that has been awesome for me.

Awesome to me is living fully in the glimmer, shooting star, rainbow and unicorn state of gratitude and awe — and also the dark, dirty, triggering moments that life reveals to me.

Awesome is looking for evidence of my own goodness particularly when I feel like I’m wobbling. It’s having the strength, courage and honesty to see where I stand in each and every situation.

Awesome is not hiding behind excuses. It’s being accountable, having the eyes to see, ears to hear, heart to feel and faith to be guided and to trust.

Awesome is releasing guilt and living guilt-free (which doesn’t come easy for me...hey, I’m a work-in-progress). But I recognize it. I invite it to come sit down. I ask it what it has come to reveal. And I remember that guilt is just fear in disguise. So, the real question is, What am I afraid of?  

Maybe it’s of being awesome?

But I’m not going to let that stop me. I’m not going to let that dim my light. Nope, I’m just going to keep going and honoring the ride.

What would unleashing your own awesomeness look, feel and taste like?

I encourage you to define it for yourself and to go for it! There’s no time like the present. I know I don’t want to waste anymore moments of life...you?

Go ahead, be f#@king awesome!

—Lea Haas, Owner, The Garden Cafe Woodstock