Life in Extremes

There is much to celebrate in life, even the unexpected (and unwanted) curveballs come bearing gifts

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Soooo, if you read my last blog or have been following our newsletter for a while, you already know that I usually shy away from birthdays and all the fanfare.

And WOW, this one got off to a very bumpy start, to say the least. 

On the morning of my birthday, I awoke to a startling text, “Your business bank account has been hacked.” A fraudulent 5-figure check had cleared my account and drained it. Well, that certainly got me out of bed. 

Deep breath.

The morning of my new year was spent at the bank freezing my account, filing a police report and sorting through the various tangled web created. UGH. Happy Birthday to me! (btw, I can’t gush enough about the value of local bank relationships. That actually was a blessing.)

All of this was happening two days before leaving on a trip to Italy that had been planned long in advance — something I had been dreaming of and so excited to share with True, my daughter.

For a moment, I wondered if I would be able to go. Could this all get sorted out by then? I just continued to put one foot in front of the other, staying calm and attempting to solve the problem.

Certainly, didn’t see this one coming but isn’t that how life unfolds at times?

This wasn’t how I had imagined my birthday morning going and yet, here I was. We stand at life’s crossroads and get to choose: Unravel or reset.

I chose the latter because I didn’t want to relinquish my day or my upcoming adventure. I had been dreaming of pasta dishes for months. Visions of strolling through cobblestone streets, meandering through shops and museums danced in my head...not this.

In those moments we choose who we want to be in the story. It doesn’t mean that we don’t have reactions and BIG feelings about it all. It means that we don’t give our power to it. We don’t let it control us. We roll up our sleeves, take a deep breath and figure out how to problem solve.

Sure, I had moments where I wanted to burst into tears and the next, I felt rage mounting within me. These are the extremes of being human. I don’t try to shame them or discard them. Instead, I curiously witness them.

I was proud of myself.

After arriving home several hours later, I was delighted to walk into a birthday wonderland. True and my bestie managed to decorate the dining room table with gifts, balloons, cards and so much birthday love. And yes, there was vegan cake!

I even surprised myself how easily I transitioned from the upset to embracing the festivity of celebration. I excitedly sat and began opening a pile of beautiful and meaningful gifts that filled my spirit. It felt like Christmas morning to the kid in me. Birthday saved!

Nope, wasn’t letting a thief steal my birthday right out from under me.

But the story doesn’t end there...

The good news is that, though not an opportune way to start my birthday, I had two days to move mountains so I could still leave. By the time I was sitting in the lounge at the airport sipping a glass of prosecco, it was behind me.

Or so I thought...

Upon arrival, a bit bleary-eyed but excited to embrace Rome and Florence, we stopped in a café at the airport and indulged in our cappuccinos, made to perfection (there is no such thing as a bad cup of coffee in Italy).

Next up: Board the rapid train to Florence...and get pickpocketed...and have 2 passports stolen...and all of my money!

ARE YOU SERIOUS?????

How is this possible? Twice in one week. How much more can my nervous system take?

Well, I found out. And the answer was, way more than I imagined.

Without going into the details of how it happened which aren’t really that important and were more of a non-event that we didn’t even realize had happened — I want to say that I had taken every precaution, had been vigilant and had even checked on my passports and money several times. As I came to learn from the police, this pickpocketing operation is a professional ring, usually operated by a team and quite slick.

In today’s world there are cameras everywhere. While with the police, one officer scanned the video tapes for an hour and produced several mugshots to us. They basically knew who it was but finding them would be a different story. 

We weren’t getting the cash back and didn’t have time to see what happened with the passports. Besides, I wanted to get out of there. We had a train to Florence to catch (though a much later one than expected).

Yes, life in extremes. Over the course of the rest of the trip, I experienced the gamut of emotions — panic, fear, anxiety and rage. How could this happen? Why did this happen?

We all replayed the scenario over and over in our minds trying to see where it went wrong, where had we been targeted, followed, robbed?

Just as I wasn’t going to allow a thief to rob me of my birthday, I wasn’t going to let another one steal my highly anticipated trip. Arriving in Florence (now one of my favorite cities), to a gorgeous hotel with the most delightful staff, luxurious rooms, delicious food and my room with a balcony over the Arno River, I basked in the golden sunset and exhaled.

To be honest, some days I felt rage boil up. Some days I felt deep sadness and even embarrassment. But I wrestled to stay in my heart, to be grateful for the things that were working, to the helpers that had arrived, for my ability to be supported and rebound — and ultimately be issued Emergency Passports to come home by the U.S. Consulate.

We joked as we visited cathedrals that I needed to visit the confessionals in each one. But the truth is that I didn’t need forgiveness for feeling my feelings. I didn’t need to forgive those who stole from me. I needed to allow what was asking to come up to be witnessed.

Oh life, you certainly seize opportunities for this. They don’t call them ‘growing pains’ for nothing.

I don’t yet have enough distance from this all yet to impart any wise hindsight, however, I can say that I encourage you NOT to beat yourself up for what you are feeling. Feelings need to be felt in this human experience.

I know much is still to be revealed to me in its own time and I welcome it. In the meantime, I took back my trip and stayed present. That was in my control. I ate my way through Italy, laughed, prayed, lit candles, shopped, visited museums, the Colosseum and even the Vatican. I met lovely souls and created memories for a lifetime...the good, the bad and the ugly.

My cup runneth over. My heart is healing, and I am feeling life in all of her extremes.

And in this season of giving and receiving, I encourage you to put yourself and your feelings on Santa’s list too!

—Lea Haas, Owner, The Garden Cafe Woodstock