Pause in the Pain

No one likes pain be it physical or emotional, but there is power in pain — in dancing with it differently — in seizing its gifts and recognizing what it has FOR you, not what it is taking FROM you

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On a recent Sunday morning I burst into giggles as I settled into the pew at church. Yes, I’m prone to nervous, silly laughter from time to time. Why was I laughing in church, you ask?

Good question.

It had nothing to do with church and everything to do with me and my bestie, each sighing and moaning as we tried to find a comfortable position to sit in on the unforgiving and rigid wooden benches. She had hurt her back and I suddenly injured my shoulder from repeated motion reaching in the kitchen while baking.

“We’re acting (and moving) like we’re 90 years old today,” which for some reason made me laugh. My friend leaned in and whispered how this is the ghost of Christmas future. Envisioning us as two old ladies sitting on our front porch together made me laugh even more.

Hey, we were both in pain and we still showed up. Aside from each of us needing support from our amazing friend, Stephen, a local gifted chiropractor/body worker (or miracle worker as I like to say) — we both sighed and laughed. And tried to breathe our way through the mass.

Laughter is good medicine.

Always.

The older I get I realize how important it has become. Life can be challenging and we all need our anchors to help us recenter, realign and reframe any experience that may be unfolding before us.

Laughter didn’t take away the pain, but it distracted me from it. It allowed me to not follow the hand of self-pity or feeling sorry for myself. It interrupted the spiral down and focus someplace I’d rather be.

There are upsets, disappointments and big feelings that emerge — and there is much we react and respond to that is beyond our control...though that never seems to stop us, does it?

I’m getting better at breathing, not resisting — not fighting the world, the weather, the politics, the noise, etc. That doesn’t mean we don’t need to be discerning or that we don’t have an opinion or a voice — it matters how we use it.

When I feel triggered, or upset, or emotional or in physical pain...I try to pause. I try to see the situation through a new lens — a lens that is working FOR me, not AGAINST me.

And while I don’t always see it immediately, and though I don’t necessarily like that...I try to lean on faith.

This is temporary.

I will heal.

Breathe.

Now don’t assume that means I’m sprinkling rainbows and unicorns across everything. Pain is real — be it physical or emotional. Fighting it makes it more painful. 

Of course, I’m frustrated with limited mobility and pain AND missing my beloved new addiction — losing myself for hours in a pottery studio. However, I’ve learned to get still and invoke curiosity. OK body, what are you trying to tell me? Is there something I’m not seeing...or dealing with?

I ask myself what’s going on.

I try to close my eyes and sit with it.

I create space for my answers to emerge.

I may not understand the whole story in that moment, but that is the catalyst for movement of stuck energy.

I came across an article by Dr. Jay Uecker, the founder of the BioSoul Integration Center, who says that “the intense pain of a frozen shoulder can be the biological equivalent of a life coach steering you away from what doesn’t support you. And that some common emotional patterns associated with a frozen shoulder include feeling that you need to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders.”

Hmmm. 

My friend Dr. Christiane Northrup takes it a step further and says that “the side of your body where your shoulder pain resides is a clue. Pain in your left shoulder may have to do with your past. And, it usually has something to do with a woman, or the feminine. If your right shoulder is bothering you, it is usually about the future, a man, or the masculine aspects of your life.

Some common emotional patterns associated with a frozen shoulder include feeling that you need to carry the ‘weight of the world on your shoulders’.”

I love to connect dots. I love to dig deeper. I love to grow further.

Pain, as painful as it can be — can do that for you.

It can stop you from doing one thing or rushing around and staying in perpetual motion so that you can notice the thing that has been calling to you. Maybe it’s something you’re ready to see or heal or appreciate.

About a month ago I was interviewed about the restaurant for Mercy for Animals, an organization dedicated to ending animal abuse and building a kinder future. Initially, I wanted to say, “NO. Sorry, can’t do this. It’s a really busy time of year.”

But then I got over my big bad self and dealt with what was really underneath this...I was uncomfortable and a little insecure about being in the spotlight and overwhelmed and...etc., etc., etc.

But I pushed myself to say, “YES.”

And you know what happened? It was the most beautiful experience and not just for the obvious, like meeting a wonderful writer, sharing a beautiful meal with his family, gushing over good food and showing off the café.

Nope it was more than that, it allowed me to stop running in circles and witness what I created. It allowed me to sink into deep appreciation and connection for what was in front of my face.

It allowed me to fall in love with the business all over again. #priceless

It allowed me to reconnect to what is good, solid, and real in my world right here before my eyes...even in this shoulder pain or disappointment.

You don’t have to make everything OK to be reminded of the goodness and grace before you.

Look for it and you will find it, my friend. 

I look forward to this article being published and I promise, you’ll be the first to see it here. Hopefully in next month’s newsletter.

For now, wherever this finds you, may it remind you that life is full of stumbles, detours, delays and change — but how about entertaining the notion that it could be pointing you in a new direction?

It could be as simple as seeing what you are ready to see, and/or what has been right before you all this time?

I’m curious to hear about what comes up for you.

—Lea Haas, Owner, The Garden Cafe Woodstock