What Feeds You?

When life feels like too much, what feeds you? A story about plot twists, pottery, and discovering the anchors that hold us steady.

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In this noisy world where we are constantly being thrown into perpetual motion, it’s easy to get overwhelmed and off track — or just not deal with the feelings we might not want to see and feel.

And let’s just say, the restaurant business is not for the faint of heart with its ever-changing twists and turns. I’m so thankful to have grown up in my parent’s business because it prepared me. There’s always something going on — a broken-down freezer, an employee issue, rising costs of everything everywhere... and let’s not forget about the weather!

You get it, I’m sure.

It’s really had me thinking lately of what feeds me, my own ‘resets’ — my go-to’s when it all feels like too much — when we receive a result we don’t want, when we get our feelings hurt, when we are afraid or exhausted...or just need a break.

Oh, life and its plot twists!

There’s no bypassing this. You can run, but you can’t hide. Trust me, I’ve tried. If I try to paste on a happy face and pretend that I’m not feeling stressed or depleted or hurt, I may get away with it for a short while but eventually it finds its way out.

Recently my bestie told me, “You’ve been cranky lately.”

Hmmmm.

Was I? I thought about it and realized maybe yes, maybe no, maybe a little of both or none of it. But then I realized something more powerful about myself. I was just showing up as me — no longer trying to fix everything for everyone. Not trying to take away pain for others. Not trying to solve problems that weren’t mine to solve. Not draining myself until I collapsed into bed each night.

Because in doing so, I was always jumping through hoops like a circus act AND robbing others of their own experience and discoveries...discomfort and all.

So, when I stopped doing it — not only did others take note of a shift, it cleared up a lot of space in my mind and life. 

Then I had to find something to do with that reclaimed space.

Interestingly this shift created room for something so beautiful to enter. I actually kind of stumbled into it because initially I was doing what I often do, judging myself for not having ‘a life’. Ha.

Sometimes it feels like all I do is work and sleep — well, there is cuddling with my cats, praying, reading, gardening, and appreciating the little things in life. Honestly, when I read that back...that’s not so bad after all!

So, instead of doing what I often do which is retreat, I actually leaned outward and discovered a new love (borderline obsession...wink) with pottery.

My daughter True and I embarked upon this quest for a new hobby and opportunity to spend quality time together and I have to say it has awakened so much within me — it kind of cracked me open in incredible ways.

A few of my recent creations

These last six months have been transformational for me. I’m amazed how much it calls to me, how I can spend 3-4 hours in a stretch without even blinking. It transports me to another world — a world where I’m curious, humble, excited...and so at peace.

It’s very grounding for the multi-tasker within me who can have six things going on in the kitchen simultaneously — stirring, mixing, baking, placing orders with vendors, organizing schedules, taking reservations, etc.

Yes, this new pace and this process have fed me in ways I could never have understood.

Ironically, I don’t judge myself here, no matter the result. I don’t get frustrated by my ‘failures’ and lumps of clay. I get excited about learning from talented potters and hearing their stories. I’m so proud of all the pretty creations I’ve made. And I daydream as I catch a glimpse of exquisite pottery in gallery windows when I walk by.

It’s been a healing, spiritual journey that I can’t explain.  It has calmed my nervous system and anchored me in the present moment. I’ll admit that I find myself driving to the studio whenever I’ve got free time to spare.

So, if you can’t find me, I’ve likely snuck away to the studio where I thrust my hands into the mud with gusto, where I feel challenged, where I feel accomplished and messy and creative...and still.

And where I recognize I’ve been fed in ways I didn’t know I was starved.

What feeds us is...

...to not judge ourselves

...to be curious

...to be aware of our own needs

...to try new things

...to be present

...to be still

...to not be afraid to get our hands messy

...to explore life on the other side of our comfort zone

...to keep showing up for all of it

I often see these as anchors. I read this wonderful passage in a daily devotional book:

"Drifting through life without an anchor means being at the mercy of every current and gust that comes our way. What first feels like a liberating sense of weightlessness quickly turns into a yearning for something solid to hold onto when the inevitable storms of life arise. Without an anchor of purpose or belief, resilience weakens. Setbacks feel catastrophic, pulling us further out to sea with no tether to bring us back. Our journey becomes reactionary, never truly charting a course, always susceptible to being tossed about by circumstance, feeling unmoored or lost."

That really resonated with me.

We need to create anchors for ourselves. For each of us that will look and feel differently.

Maybe you need to stop or maybe you need to move. Only you know.

You know...maybe it wasn’t ‘cranky’ — but rather a call from within my spirit that needed a little attention and to stop being elbowed out of the equation. I’m grateful that I’m open to explore what that meant for me because I feel fed.

I want that for you, too.

— Lea Haas, Owner, The Garden Cafe Woodstock